What is BDSM?

BDSM & Fetish Terminology

There are many different acronyms and many different words with special meanings in use in the BDSM & Fetish Lifestyles. This page will attempt to bring as many of them as possible into one list.

Sometimes the acronyms have multiple meanings, so always make sure that when you use them in communications that you expand the accronym at least once.

Please feel free to use the contact details on the "Contact Kinky Kiwi Contacts" to send us your contributions for this and any other pages.

Arts

  • Euphemism for various fetishes.

Bondage

  • A (sexual) fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating (sexual) partner.
  • The person doing the binding is considered "dominant" while the person being bound is considered "submissive."
  • "Bondage" means binding the partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of handcuffs or ropes, or by lashing their arms to an object. Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with chains or ropes to a St. Andrew's cross or spreader bars.

B and D:

  • Bondage and Discipline.
  • Bondage is the practice of tying up or otherwise immobilizing a willing participant for pleasure or punishment.
  • Discipline is the practice of the dominant partner instructing, correcting, or punishing the submissive partner.
  • Both bondage and discipline can be physical, psychological, or sexual, or a combination of all three.

BDSM:

  • Bondage-Discipline-Sadism-Masochism.

Bootblack

  • A person who specializes in polishing and/or spit-shining boots as part of play, for love of the craft, and/or as a way to give back to the kink community.

Caning

  • A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood.

Cheating

  • A Submissive or Slave bowing before another Master or Mistress without their owners consent.

Culture

  • Euphemism for various fetishes.

D/s:

  • Dominance/submission.

Discipline

  • A (sexual) fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant.
  • Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings.

Docile

  • A person who is willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE).

Doll

  • A person who enjoys objectification and wants to be transformed through one's own and/or outside forces into a living doll.

Domestic Training

  • Submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and possibly humiliating nature.

Dominance & Submission

  • "Dominance & Submission" is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of control of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context. It explores the more mental aspect of BDSM. This is also the case in many relationships not considering themselves as sadomasochistic.

Dominant

  • A partner in control of a willing submissive partner. (see Master/Mistress)

Evolving

  • A person who is undergoing gradual change.

Exhibitionist

  • A person who enjoys displaying themselves in a public or semi-public manner in order to attract attention.

Exploring

  • A person who is on an open journey through the world of kink.

Fetishist

  • A person who is aroused by objects or nonsexual parts of the body.

Flaggellation

  • Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking.

Furry

  • A person who identifies with a particular anthropomorphic animal or creature, often wearing costumes or tokens representing the animal.

Hedonist

  • A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of pleasure.

Informed Consent?

  • Informed consent is the condition under which the people involved in any BDSM activities are aware beforehand of the meaning of each term, the prior agreement of all participants of the limits to which each activity will go and the agreement of safe words which will bring the activities to an immediate halt.
  • No-one can give "Informed consent" if they are under the legal age of consent in the place where the activities are carried out.
  • No-one who is classified as a vulnerable or at risk adult can give informed consent.

Kinkster

  • A person who doesn’t want to define their role while engaging in power exchange, role play, sadomasochism, cross-dressing and/or fetishes.

Kitten

  • A person who enjoys roleplay as a kitten or cat.

Leather

  • A fetish; Sexual stimulation through the wearing of leather garments.

Leatherboi

  • Someone within the leather community or tradition who may be submissive or in a subordinate role, and often doesn't identify with binary gender labels.

Leather Bottom

  • A person within the leather community or tradition who receives kinky activities from someone.

Leather Daddy

  • An authority figure within the leather community or tradition.

Leatherman

  • A person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM.

Leather Top

  • A person within the leather community or tradition who performs kinky activities on someone.

Leatherwoman

  • A person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM with motorcycle clubs.

Masochism

  • Gratification (often sexual) through receiving pain and humiliation from others.

Master

  • A man who has one or more Submissives or Slaves under his control

Master or Mistress/Slave

  • Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship. (see B and D, BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE)

Mistress

  • A woman who has one or more Submissives or Slaves under her control

OTK

  • Over the Knees.
  • Correction or punishment by spanking a person bent over the knees of their Master or Mistress.-

Passive

  • Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training.

Pet

  • A person who may or may not identify with animal play who is treated like they are beloved and owned.

Pony

  • A person who enjoys roleplay as a pony or horse.

Princess

  • A person who requires a very particular treatment of praise, care, and attention.

Primal

  • A person who rejects rules, traditions and protocols and prefers to self-define their role, often associated with foundational and/or animalistic instincts, behaviors, and desires.

Primal Predator

  • A primal who enjoys hunting and attempting to capture prey.

Primal Prey

  • A primal who enjoys being hunted by a predator.

Pup

  • A person who enjoys roleplay as a puppy or dog.

R.A.C.K

  • Risk Aware Consensual Kink

Rigger

  • A person who practices the art of bondage, usually with rope.

Rope Bottom

  • A person who receives rope bondage.

Rope Bunny

  • A popular alternative for Rope Bottom, often a model for performance, photography or demos.

Rope Top

  • A person who performs rope bondage.

S and M:

  • Sadism and Masochism, or Sado-Masochism.
  • S and M usually refers to the practice of consensual inflicting or receiving pain.

Sadomasochism

  • Sadomasochism is used to describe the action of inflicting or recieving pain/punishment.
  • A Sadist describes a person who gets sexual pleasure by inflicting pain, degradation, humiliation on another person or causing another person to suffer.
  • On the other hand, the Masochist enjoys being hurt, humiliated, or suffering within the consensual scenario.

Sensualist

  • A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of sensual pleasures and interests.

Sissy

  • A male-identified person who engages in feminization and sometimes humiliation in order to reach a different emotional or mental state.

Slave

  • An outdated term, most people now use the term submissive.
  • A submissive person who is under the total control of their Master or Mistress.

Slut

  • A person who embraces the freedom to engage in sexual activity in accordance with their desires, with one or multiple partners, regardless of conventional values.

SSC:

  • Safe, Sane, Consensual.

Submissive

  • Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training.
  • A submissive person who is under the total control of their Master or Mistress.

Switch

  • A person who can change from Dominant to Submissive to meet various situations.
  • A person who enjoys being dominant or submissive at different times.
  • A person who participates in relationships, scenes and activities as a Top/Dominant or bottom/submissive depending on their mood, partner or the situation. Some switches enjoy changing their power dynamic during the scene.

TPE:

  • Total Power Exchange.

Top

  • In the swinging and Gay scene the person who is sexually dominant.
  • In BDSM the person who is the main recipient of pleasure in a scene.

TV, CD, TS:

  • Transvestite, Crossdresser, Transsexual.

Voyeur

  • A person who enjoys watching others, usually in a sexual context, without engaging with them.